Interested Party. In Texarkana, Ark., hospital bound in a careening police car, a badly injured would-be suicide came to long enough to caution the driver: “Gosh you’ll kill us all.”
Temperance. In Mexico City, José Reinaldo, charged with drunkenness, assured the cops that he had had nothing but a few snorts of orange juice spiked with a little DDT.
Cure. In Newport, R.I., when a spider landed on ten-year-old Patricia Ann Toppa’s head, her friend, John O’Brien, 12, gallantly rushed to the rescue, knocked out both spider and Patricia Ann with his baseball bat.
The Law. In Hempstead, N.Y., the Town Board passed a new ordinance: henceforward, after sundown, horses must be equipped with head and tail lights.
Love Story. In Leitchfield, Ky., 275-Ib. Maggie Oiler, 39, and A. B. Farris, 99, were remarried after twenty years of divorce, because “we couldn’t live without each other.”
Feathered Friends. In Hammond, La., Thomas Owens explained to the judge that he had done no stealing; he had merely stretched out under a shady tree to take a nap and those two frying-size chickens had strolled right into his arms.
Of Local Interest. In rural North Carolina, 2,068 brides & grooms waited & waited while the state supreme court weighed the legal status of the justice of the peace who had married them.
Boning Up. In Denver, nine-year-old Richard Junk fell out of a tree, hoped to keep his injury secret, made a few discreet inquiries about the technique of bone-setting, did a capable job on his own broken arm.
Lapse. In Palo Alto, Calif., Judge John E. Springer fined a traffic violator named Mr. Safety First.
Buzz Off. In Atlanta, a swarm of bees, settled in a packing crate at an ordnance depot, were quickly sold (for $2.05) as surplus property.
Bow to Custom. In Valdosta, Ga., the watchful city council announced that henceforth liquor licenses would be required for any place of business selling bay rum.
Critic. In Clinton, Iowa, impetuous Ezra Adams explained to a judge that irritation at a soap opera had prompted him to 1) ram his fist through the family radio, 2) hack the set to matchwood with a hammer, 3) hurl eggs at random around the room.
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